From cfe20273e7db0cc813a7cb3ade0e99be59fa926f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: pjanzen Date: Tue, 11 Apr 2000 03:52:04 +0000 Subject: [PATCH] tidying, accuracy, and duplicate removal --- games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 | 11 ++--- games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o | 72 ++---------------------------- 2 files changed, 10 insertions(+), 73 deletions(-) diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 index f4be114bc57..bb7e6132ec1 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 @@ -2195,21 +2195,22 @@ does not know that the bird has come and gone. (chorus): Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads; Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up. Yum! - You can ask them anything you want to. + Ask a fish head anything you want to. They won't answer; they can't talk. (chorus): I took a fish head out to see a movie, Didn't have to pay to get it in. (chorus): They can't play baseball; they don't wear sweaters; - They aren't good dancers; they can't play drums. + They're not good dancers; they don't play drums. (chorus): Roly-poly fish heads are NEVER seen drinking cappucino in Italian restaurants with Oriental women. + Yeah! +(chorus) (chorus): - Fishy! -(chorus): - -- Fish Heads + Yeah! + -- Barnes & Barnes, "Fish Heads" % "In this replacement Earth we're building they've given me Africa to do and of course I'm doing it with all fjords again because I happen to diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o index f16e63c8771..867645617df 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o @@ -1145,28 +1145,7 @@ man. Mud-as-man alone could speak. "Certainly," said man. "Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this," said God. And He went away. - -- Kurt Vonnegut, Between Time and Timbuktu" -% - In the morning, laughing, happy fish heads - In the evening, floating in the soup. -(chorus): -Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads; -Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up. Yum! - You can ask them anything you want to. - They won't answer; they can't talk. -(chorus): - I took a fish head out to see a movie, - Didn't have to pay to get it in. -(chorus): - They can't play baseball; they don't wear sweaters; - They aren't good dancers; they can't play drums. -(chorus): - Roly-poly fish heads are NEVER seen drinking cappuccino in - Italian restaurants with Oriental women. -(chorus): - Fishy! -(chorus): - -- Fish Heads + -- Kurt Vonnegut, "Between Time and Timbuktu" % In what can only be described as a surprise move, God has officially announced His candidacy for the U.S. presidency. During His press conference @@ -1218,7 +1197,7 @@ Catholic girls fuck like bunnies." % Joan, the rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit -the frist day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her +the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. @@ -2199,7 +2178,7 @@ And bring me back ma prick. I canna wait for him to die 3. A beer won't even act amazed if you can. 4. You don't have to let a beer win. 5. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to - sleep with it beer, too. + sleep with it, too. 6. A beer helps with the housework. 7. A beer will never fumble with your bra. 8. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it. @@ -2376,12 +2355,6 @@ A bar patron returned from the men's room grumbling to himself. "It's rough, it's tough, and it doesn't take shit from nobody." % A bather whose clothing was strewed -By breezes that left her quite nude, - Saw a man come along - And, unless I am wrong, -You expected this line to be lewd. -% -A bather whose clothing was strewed By breezes that left her quite nude, Saw a man come along And, unless I'm quite wrong, @@ -2405,12 +2378,6 @@ how he had enjoyed it. "Great!" was the reply. "But look what it did to my clamdigger!" % A beat schizophrenic said, "Me? -I am not I, I'm a tree." - But another, more sane, - Shouted, "I'm a great dane " -And covered his pants leg with pee. -% -A beat schizophrenic said, "Me? I am not I, I'm a tree." But another, more sane, Shouted, "I'm a Great Dane!" @@ -2502,12 +2469,6 @@ Whose organ had long ceased to function With the aid of his constable's truncheon. % A broken-down harlot named Tupps -Was heard to confess in her cups: - "The height of my folly - Was diddling a collie- -But I got a nice price for the pups." -% -A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was fucking a collie -- @@ -2551,12 +2512,6 @@ Catholic!" "Just checking," replied his friend, crossing himself again, "spectacles, testicles, wallet, pen." % -A cautious young fellow named Lodge -Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. - When his date was strapped in, - He committed a sin, -Without even leaving his grodge. -% A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. With his date all strapped in @@ -2648,13 +2603,7 @@ A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke -And beat both his balls to a creame. -% -A clever young man named Eugene -Invented a jack-off machine. - On the twenty-third stroke - The goddam thing broke -And beat both his balls to a creame. +And beat both his balls to a cream. % A clitoris is a lot like Antarctica; most men know it's there, but few really care. @@ -2792,12 +2741,6 @@ Got along with a sexy young sophomore. But he found that the sophomore'd got off more. % A doctoral student from Buckingham -Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em. - But a dropout from paree - Taught him Gamahuchee -- so he added a footnote on sucking 'em. -% -A doctoral student from Buckingham Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em. But a dropout from paree Taught him Gamahuchee @@ -2822,13 +2765,6 @@ Whose overworked sex is all callous, Through exuberance, tightness, and malice. % A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis -Wished to foster an aura of menace; - To make people afraid - He wore gloves of grey suede -And white footgear intended for tennis. - -- Edward Gorey -% -A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace. To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede -- 2.20.1